Follow Your Heart
by GoddessofSnark
Summary: Woody's left, Jordan's moved on. Or so she thinks. When Woody suddenly shows up back in Boston, she's left with a hard choice, a man she never stopped loving, or the man that she currently loves. WJ
1. Chapter 1

A/N-Some of you might remember Shaw from Game Theory, he was the nice little innocent man, I had this bouncing around in my head before that, and then my lovely Beta, garretelliot, who I have to thank quite a lot for pointing out my little errors, decided she wanted to see more of him, so I decided, well, I have this fic idea, and I need another guy for it...I only own Shaw and no one else, they all belong to Tim Kring and NBC. Enjoy it!

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It was a wonderfully warm night for early fall, hitting well into the low seventies, that just warm enough to be comfortable without making one run as soon as possible to air conditioning. She walked along, basking in the heat, wholeheartedly enjoying it. "So." She said, looking out over the murky Charles River.

"So." He repeated, his arm wrapped tightly around her.

"What gives with all the fancy stuff?" He laughed, a deep, rich laugh.

"Can't a man have a romantic notion every now and then?" He complained and she grinned, shrugging before resting her head on his shoulder.

"I suppose. But it's just so not you." One blond eyebrow quirked upwards. "I mean, you're the obscure movie and greasy heart attack on the plate food type. Not Chez Rive and moonlight walks." He grinned at her, a full smile to rival the Cheshire cat's.

It was true though, she was so used to seeing the man in loose jeans that were so frayed she wondered how they didn't fall apart with each step he took and his ratty green bomber jacket that seeing him dressed up in a suit was a very surprising thing. She was amazed at how good he looked when he cleaned up, when he actually put more than twenty seconds of thought into his appearance.

"So? Unpredictable is my middle name." They sat down on a bench and she gave him a long hard look.

There was something that he was hiding. The green eyes were definitely hiding something, and his eyebrows were knit together, as if he was trying to tell her something, and something important. The question was, what was it? And would it be something good? "Shaw-" she started, and he cut her off with a deep kiss.

"Jordan, I've been thinking." He told her, and she felt her shoulders stiffen. That was never good. Those three words, I've been thinking, were never a good sign. They usually meant something very bad, such as a breakup, or some bombshell that she didn't want to hear. He laughed once at her reaction. "Relax, it's not like that. Not like that at all. I mean, well, we've been together for what, a year now?"

"Something like that." She said and he nodded, blond hair falling into his face and quickly being swiped back out of it by long fingers.

"Well, I've been thinking, and I realized that I've never been in one place this long before, not since college. And well, you're the one thing that's kept me in Boston, and well, I don't want to leave." She felt her breath catch as he slid off the bench, falling to one knee and fishing a small box out of his pocket.

She felt blind panic wash over her. She looked around desperately for something to distract her, wishing, praying for a dead body to fall out of the sky, something, anything to stop this. This couldn't be happening. "So, Jordan Cavanaugh-" He continued, "-Will you marry me?" He opened the ring box to reveal a gorgeous diamond flanked on each side by sapphires.

"I-" She trailed off. She wanted him, not this, she loved him, but didn't know what to make of it, what to do. "I-I-I-I don't know what to think." she admitted to him and he gently cupped her face with one hand.

"Don't think, just answer." He told her softly. "Please, just say yes."

She took a deep breath, and tried to think of a way to phrase what she wanted to say. "Shaw, I love you-" She started and he looked at her, disappointment filling his pale eyes. "I just need to think, OK?" She said, and he stood up.

"It's OK." He said, offering his hand to her to ease her up from the bench. "I understand." He told her, kissing her on the cheek, and she smiled faintly.

"Thank you." She said, turning and kissing him with less restraint than he had shown.

"At least take the ring." He said, gently sliding it onto the third finger of her right hand.

"Shaw-" She started and he cut her off.

"You've been through a lot Jordan, no need to explain, just take your time." His voice was gentle, soft, but she could hear the disappointment in it as they walked back, arm in arm.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N again thanks to garretelliot for beta'ing and for all those of you who reviewed so far. And in case you're wondering, yes, I have stepped out of my usual zone of writing G/J stuff...I have nothing against Woody and Jordan, aside from the fact that Woody is so poorly written on the show.

* * *

She stood there, leaning over the railing, looking out over the river, watching as the reflections of the familiar skyline lengthened in the setting sun. What should she do about Shaw? She loved him, she did, he was the one bright spot in her life. She loved her job, loved her friends, but Shaw stood out above the rest, her Stabzy. But did she want to become Mrs. W.S. Daggers, or did she want to remain Jordan Cavanaugh, lonely old maid?

She wanted someone in her life, but she didn't want this, a commitment. She loved Shaw, but she didn't want to throw her whole heart into a relationship. She knew she had commitment issues, but every relationship she had just furthered her belief that they were going to leave her. Her mother, her father, and the one man she thought she could trust the most not to leave had left her high and dry.

And whenever she tried to see herself living the happy suburban dream, she couldn't. She could possibly see herself married, the relationship that she and Shaw had was pretty close to a marriage-they got along, but they fought, they loved each other, and knew when to stand down, and when to hold their ground. But whenever she tried to see herself walking down the aisle, it wasn't a blond-haired green-eyed young man that was standing there, it was a dark haired, blue eyed one.

She found herself so lost in her own thoughts that she was completely oblivious to the footsteps that came down the small alleyway that led to her overlook and it wasn't until the person struck the same pose as she that she noticed them.

"Not interrupting, am I?" A familiar voice said. She fought down a gulp. It couldn't be.

"No, just thinking." She said, looking over to see familiar dark hair and blue eyes. She turned her attention back to the water, not wanting to look at the man next to her.

"Pretty night." He said, staring off onto the water, and she nodded.

"Beautiful spot." Of all the spots along the dirty water that had become infamous through song, she loved this one.

"You showed it to me." He pointed out and she shrugged.

"I didn't know you were back." She said, struggling to find something that wasn't awkward to say. It was so weird to be doing this, talking to him as if everything was perfectly normal after not seeing him at all for two years.

"Just for a few weeks." He told her, staring back at the water himself. "Got called back, Captain's getting his knee replaced and the Sunny D said they could spare one of their captains for a few weeks." She nodded.

"Playing the boss?"

"Yeah." He said it simply, understated. He wasn't a big fan of power.

"How is life on the Sunset Strip?" She asked him. This was easier than she though it would be. They were talking, comfortable around each other, making simple small talk.

"It's good, laid back, I like it. Warmer than here." She grinned.

"Yeah, what I miss about California."

"So how have you been?" He asked her and she shrugged.

"Same old, same old." She said truthfully. There really wasn't nothing major, outside of Shaw, that had happened in her life. Her father kept appearing and disappearing, her friends stayed the same though, same old people that they always were.

"Hear you got promoted." She laughed.

"All it is a fancy title and a lot more paperwork for me, a lot less of it for Garret. I wish they gave him all my paperwork and I got all of his cases." He laughed at that.

"Pretty ring." He pointed out and she toyed with it.

"Thanks." She said simply, trying to think of some way to steer the conversation away from that.

"Lucky man." He commented, and she shrugged, unable to think of anything else to do.

"Nice guy." She admitted.

"I know him?" She shook her head.

"Met him after you left, came here from Alaska." He looked impressed at that.

"You two together long?" She didn't like this. Woody was feeling her out, figuring out her relationship status, and she tried to come up with a counter to find out the same about him.

"A year." She said, facing him for the first time since he appeared.

"He popped the question?"

"Yeah."

"And you turned him down?" This was definitely the thing she didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to go through this grief. She loved Shaw, the man in front of her hadn't been a part of her life for two years, he had no business reappearing in it and taking away what she had.

"I need to think about it." He grinned his usual disarming grin. The black hair had a rare streak of gray, there were faint lines around the eyes, but the one thing that was still there, unchanged, was his grin.

"Good luck then." He said as his phone rang.

"Thanks." She called as he walked away, amazed at how painless that had been.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Again, thanks to garretelliot for being my beta, and to the real guys who Shaw is based off of, Gonz and Greyfox. And to all of you who review.

* * *

She had expected it to hurt, expected the two of them to have a knock down, drag out fight when she recognized that voice and the man standing next to her, looking over the Charles. But they hadn't. They had made small talk, they had gotten on quite well. He had asked her about her life and didn't even make a comment on it, didn't even really comment on the fact that she was running from the man she loved now as well, that she was afraid of a commitment with Shaw just as much as she had been with him. He had only wished her luck and flashed her that disarming grin.

She heard Garret say hi to her current significant other, and a minute later a blond head peeked in, followed by the rest of the lanky man. Shaw may not have been tall, but he was skinny as a rail and it made him look taller than he was. Baggy, ratty old jeans and tight shirts only enhanced that look. "Hey." She said, looking up at the man that she loved. Love, that was always a nice, non-committal word. She fought back a smile at that thought.

He was more than a boyfriend, but not yet a fiancee. She wanted to say yes, but she didn't want to have what came with a marriage, the commitment, the inability to turn and run if she wanted to.

"Hey." He said, sitting on her desk. "Just stopping by to tell you I can't make lunch today, got a meeting with Jon about what's next." He pulled down the top edge of the file she was reading to see what it was. "Looks incredibly-" He started and kissed her gently. "Boring." He finished and she laughed.

"Paperwork. Ick." She complained, and he grinned. His grin may not have been as boyish as Woody's, may not have been as disarming in that sense, but it was still cute, it was quirky and reached higher up on one side of his face than the other, making him look lopsided.

"I second that notion." She quirked one eyebrow.

"You're the one that works surrounded by paper." He shrugged.

"I write, I do not go through and make sure everything is spelled correctly, every I is dotted and T is crossed. That's what Jon does. Thus, I like paper, just not paperwork." She grinned. "Anyway, just came by since my lunch meeting's at the Trattoria." He gestured to his left to where the small restaurant stood just a few buildings down the street. She gave him a look that clearly told him that whatever else he wanted to ask he better ask it now.

"And you were wondering if I'd stop by tonight instead?" She asked him and again his sheepish grin crossed his face.

"Yeah." He admitted, and she kissed him.

"Now go, before you're late for your meeting, Jon's a bitch when he's angry." He nodded, knowing fully too well how true that was. He kissed her again, as she followed him to the door.

"Yeah. I'll see you tonight?" He double checked and she nodded, with one last kiss.

"Tonight." She agreed and all but shoved him out of the door, sitting back behind her desk and staring at the file in front of her, not quite seeing it, lost deeply in thought.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Muchos props to garretelliot my beta. And again, to the men that have been rolled together to create W. Shaw "Stabzy" Daggers. And to all of y'all who don't review-c'mon, I'm actually writing a W/J fic. C'mon, I'm appeasing the masses here, play along and review, won't you?

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A knock on her door startled her out of her reverie. "How're you doing on that paperwork?" Garret appeared in her door frame, and she shrugged.

"Couldn't you have given me the fun stuff?" She complained and a brief smile crossed his face.

"If you complain one more time I'm going to start prepping Bug to take my place." She grinned.

"You know you love me too much to do that." He grinned back and sat down on her couch, kicking his feet up on the small table in front of it.

"If it means that things actually get done around here, I'll prep whoever it takes. I don't want to be drug out in the middle of my retirement because you can't keep these guys in shape." She laughed.

"Counting the days, huh?" He shrugged.

"Another five years and then it's nothing but beaches and golf and doing absolutely nothing unless I want to." He grinned thinking of it fondly. "And I have a feeling it's going to take all five of them to get one of you in shape to take over. You complain about the paperwork, Bug can never see the bright side of things, and as much as I love Nigel, I'd be better off leaving this place to a two year old. At least they won't run it bankrupt buying every new gadget out there." She laughed knowing that it was true.

She stared back down at the file she was going over before sticking it back into it's clear protector and zipping it up, sticking it back on the stack on her desk before sighing and stretching. "I know that look, what's wrong?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Nothing's wrong." She argued and he glared at her, and she felt herself melt under his gaze. He was her best friend, always there to give her a hand with whatever was troubling her, always there to be the sympathetic ear and shoulder to cry on. He had been there for her when Woody had packed up and moved out, not caring about what he had just gone through, simply being there for her, being the one to hold her close and tell her everything was going to be OK, that if Woody didn't love her than the boy didn't deserve to be loved by her.

"Jordan." The tone of his voice said it all, he knew that she had been thinking about something, and something that was not good. If she was going to talk to anyone about the issue that she had, trying to love Shaw but at the same time still not having gotten over Woody, that Garret was the one to talk to.

"It's nothing." She said again and he kept glaring at her.

"You look preoccupied, and it's the kind of preoccupied that says somethings gone wrong with you and Stabs." She grinned sheepishly.

"You know me way too well."

"It's affecting your ability to do my paperwork, of course I want to do whatever it takes to mend the trouble in paradise." The light tone of his voice hid the true caring in what he said, hid the fact that he really did want to see her happy.

"Always looking out for yourself." She teased.

"So what's going on between you two?" He asked her. "He seemed happy enough a minute ago." She took a deep breath and toyed with the ring on her finger.

"Shaw proposed last night." Garret broke out into a wide grin until he realized what had happened.

"You said no?" It was more a proclamation of amazement then a question, and she shook her head.

"I said I needed more time." She confessed and he nodded.

"So what's the problem?"

"Woody." The one word seemed to be one of the hardest to say.

"Still holds a place in your heart?" He asked her gently and she nodded.

"And he's back."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N here y'all go, the next chappy up and out. Do enjoy it. And do review it. Please? Pretty please? Especially you that has it on favorites yet won't review...I know who you are... and thanks to garretelliot for reviewing.

* * *

"Oh." Was all Garret could say, trying to come up with a response.

"Yeah. Ran into him." She said, trying to straighten out the huge stack of files on her desk to limit their chances of falling over onto her.

"What's he doing?" She grinned at the faint hint of malice in her friend's voice. He, along with Nigel and Bug had been ready to tear Woody limb from limb after he had left.

"He's filling in, acting captain for the next few weeks." He nodded at that, and she could all but see the gears turning in his mind as he tried to figure out what that would mean, and how he could keep Woody out of the morgue as much as possible.

"You ran into him?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, I was thinking down by the river and he stopped by not knowing I was there." She knew the way Garret's mind worked. He would have thought that Woody had tracked her down.

"How's he doing?" She fought a grin. Garret was just as subtle as Woody had been. All but flat out asking about the relationship angle. Woody had pretty much seen if she was in fact, engaged, and Garret was now asking the same thing about Woody.

"He's doing good." She shrugged and stretched.

"So you keep thinking about him?" She nodded at that. "He hurt you before." He pointed out and she glared at him.

"Garret, I don't need you reminding me." He grinned.

"Stabzy's a good guy." Her eyes met his dark ones.

"You said the same thing about Woody." That quickly got him to look down at the floor.

"Woody left you behind." He pointed out.

"And Shaw's never been in a place this long before."

"Says something about you." She rolled her eyes.

"Then why didn't Woody stick around?" It was something that she had wondered. It made her friends' concern for her seem fake and phony, the way that they said that if Woody left than he didn't deserve her, but yet, if she was so much better than Woody, why did Woody leave her. He had to have left her for a reason.

"Look, if Woody couldn't see that you're one of the most amazing people I"ve ever met then-" She laughed a single, bitter laugh.

"He doesn't deserve me." She finished for him, knowing full well what the rest of the line was. "Spare me the self confidence boost Gar, it's so not you. Woody left, I have Shaw, end of story." He quirked his eyebrow at her.

"Is it?" She started to say yes but couldn't. "What do you want Jordan?" She rolled the question around in her brain, trying to come up with exactly what she wanted.

"I want a relationship."

"You have that. Do you want a husband? Do you want Shaw or is he just the next best thing." She swallowed hard.

"What would you do?" She asked him and he laughed.

"You're talking to Mr. Walk-all-over-me-let's-make-things-work. I wouldn't have even toyed with Woody in the first place." She laughed at Garret's representation of himself. He had himself down, at least, she had seen the way that he had bent over backwards trying to make relationships work, and that's where they were different. She understood that there was a certain amount of work to put into a relationship, but she also knew when it was over.

"We're going on my circumstances here. Would you pick Woody now that he's back or Shaw?" He grinned, knowing full well that she was trying to avoid having to make the decision solely on her own.

"Do you love him?" He asked her.

"Which him?"

"Both." She thought about it, deciding on which one.

"Shaw? Definitely. Woody? I don't know. I thought I did, then he left, and now, I don't know." He smiled faintly at her.

"If I were you I'd go for the safe bet, you love Shaw, Shaw loves you. But you've always been a risk taker." She laughed.

"I am, aren't I?" He chuckled as well.

"Go with what you're heart's telling you." He got up and started towards the door. "If you still love him, don't let him slip away again." He opened the door and walked out. "And don't forget about the paperwork!" He called over his shoulder, walking away down the hall, leaving her alone to decide what exactly she wanted.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N-So I couldn't NOT make mention of Game Theory, so I did...thanks again to garretelliot for beta'ing this! Getting ARRRGH emails are always quite entertaining.

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She pulled to a stop in front of the familiar ramshackled building that her boyfriend lived in. Shaw had said that he could sleep absolutely anywhere and she didn't doubt him. She had heard the stories of some of the places he had stayed, in cars, under docks on the beach, from Felony Flats, Alaska to a six bedroom house in the Hamptons, there was no place the man hadn't stayed, and she supposed that a run down apartment was better than some of them.

It was just that the area it was in gave her the creeps. The last time she had been there she had been staring down the barrel of a gun in a game of life of death. But then she met Shaw and Shaw happened to live there, so she grudgingly put up with it. At least she knew where she could run to the next time.

That would be her first request if they got married, that he would either move in with her, or they would find someplace together, she refused to move in there with him, it was bad enough when she went over, she could never live there for the rest of her life. Marriage. The one thing that she still had to decide on.

"Hey." He said, opening the door in response to her knock on it. Something smelled heavenly. For a man who had spent most of his life alone, he could cook. And everything he cooked smelled just as good as it tasted.

"Hey." She repeated, following him inside, collapsing on his couch. "How was your meeting?" She asked him and he shrugged.

"Jon thinks it needs work." He moved the manuscript in question off of the table, clearing off a space for her. "A few plot holes that can be easily patched up."

"It's dedicated to me, right?" She teased him, as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Of course." He sat down next to her after a quick look at the clock. "Another twenty minutes and dinner'll be ready." They lapsed into silence. "So." He started.

"So." She repeated.

"What about you, any fun dead bodies?" She shook her head.

"Lots and lots of paperwork. I swear I'm going to die of exsanguination from the sheer amount of paper cuts." He laughed at her hyperbole and pulled her closer to him.

"Sucks for you." She glared at him and gave him a swat. He just grinned, dimples appearing on his angular cheeks.

"Can't you do it for me, you love playing with words." He shook his head.

"Playing with, not working with. My idea of work is being chained to retail hell, which when you think about it, isn't that bad. Besides, all work and no play makes Stabzy a dull boy." She grinned, a glint in her eye.

"We all know you're far from dull." He leaned in and kissed her soundly as the kitchen timer gave a strong buzz to remind them that dinner was ready.

He ran into the kitchen and grabbed two plates which he quickly piled high with a hearty helping of pasta. "So." He said again, once they had both settled down and dug into their food.

"So." She repeated, yet again.

"You think about things?" She looked up at him, unsure.

"Shaw-" She started and he raised a hand.

"It's cool," he started, kissing her. "It's alright, don't worry about it, take your time, and I'll stop pestering you." She smiled.

"Thank you." She said and he just grinned, pushing his long blonde hair back out of his face.

"No problemos mi amiga." He said, leaning across the table to kiss her once more before turning his attention back to the meal at hand.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N-Here's the next chap, muchos thanks to garretelliot for helping to pad this from a 500 word chapter to almost a 1000 word chapter...

* * *

"What's wrong?" Shaw asked her as they curled together on the bed.

"Nothing." She lied, snuggling closer to him. She didn't want to tell him. He grinned at her, his lopsided grin and kissed her, his reddish stubble brushing up against her chin.

"Something's wrong." He said, kissing her again. Something was wrong, but it wasn't something that he needed to know. He didn't need to know that it wasn't his face, his body she had been thinking about.

She didn't want to tell him that the only man on her mind had been one Woody Hoyt. She didn't want to tell him that the more she thought about it the less she wanted to marry him. She loved him, she loved this, loved being with him, but she didn't want to promise him forever. She didn't want to have to go through a divorce when things were over. She loved him, she wanted that to last forever, but she didn't want to have to go through more mess if things did go sour.

She had been through too much, seen too many people walk out of her life, she didn't want to put herself at risk for yet another. She loved Shaw more than anything else, but she had thought the same thing about Woody, and Woody had walked out of her life, she knew Shaw loved her, but yet, she had thought Woody had too, she wasn't going to put her heart at risk to be that utterly broken ever again.

She didn't want to want Woody, Woody had hurt her enough already. But yet, he kept creeping into her thoughts. He kept appearing and she fought hard to stop him from being there in her dreams. Running into him hadn't helped. Running into him had only increased how much she thought of the dark hair and blue-gray eyes that she could never forget. The detective that stole her heart away.

Not detective anymore. Captain. A step up in life, another move up on the career ladder. She frowned, even though she knew she had done the same thing. Associate chief, her official job title. The next one in line. Woody was more stable, more secure, but she was too. She had Shaw, she didn't need Woody. She had her own security, she didn't need his. "Nothing's wrong." She told him and he gave her a long hard look before laying a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"If you say so." He pulled her close, slowly falling asleep, leaving her to think in the dark with his breath in her ear.

If she loved Shaw more than anything, then why had she found herself biting her lip to keep from crying out Woody's name as they made love. Why had her mind conjured blue eyes and a smile that was as pure as Wisconsin snow above her? She wanted to damn him straight back to wherever he came from, wanted to banish him out of her life, but at the same time felt as if she couldn't.

She couldn't love Woody, he'd hurt her too much. But had he hurt her really or had she hurt herself? Thinking back over her relationship with him honestly and clearly, Jordan could see how she'd played the naive young cop. Moving closer, letting him think they stood a chance and then backing off as soon as his move mirrored her's. She had danced him around for four years and only a snipers bullet had ended that dance. It couldn't have been fun for Woody to have to play guessing games about her feelings, although in her defense she had been playing the same game herself. 

She had never been sure that she really loved Woody until she'd gotten that phone call. Standing in the autopsy room with Garret and Slokum trying to solve the Moreau case, Woody had been the last thing on her mind. The ringing phone had been an annoyance. She snapped out an answer only to be frozen in place by what she'd heard. It felt like an eternity had passed between heartbeats as she'd listened to the voice on the other end of the line shatter her world.

She stood in Shaw's tiny kitchen shivering from remembered fear. In her mind she could hear the words she'd whispered to Woody in the panicked moments before his surgery. The proclamation of love that had set off the downward spiral of events.

But it had been too late, Woody had taken her declaration for pity rather than love, rejecting it and her with cold tired eyes. He'd ordered her out of his life and had stood by his decision even after he'd healed. Jordan had found herself the rejected one, a position she had always feared. That must be why she thought about him. The one that got away, the unattainable. Could she really be that shallow, to only want him because she couldn't have him, to reject Shaw because she could have him?

The sound of the clock striking quietly interrupted her revery. She had to be up for work soon and going in looking like she hadn't slept would mean good natured teasing that she would not be in the mood for. She crawled back between the sheets, sliding right back into the empty spot in Shaw's arms, and slowly falling asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Another chappy, thanks again to garretelliot for cleaning it up and making it good.

* * *

"Hey, have that file?" She looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. She found him standing in the doorway of her office.

"Wow, a visit from the captain himself. What do we owe the pleasure?" She found a cold blue glare pointed in her direction.

"Don't play cute." She thumbed through the large stack of files on her desk. "The Pierson case." He reminded her and she nodded, yanking it out of the middle, narrowly avoiding the huge stack as it tumbled to the ground. He came over to give her hand, easily picking up a huge stack.

"Thanks." She said, picking up what was left. It felt like a bad movie. Wasn't this what happened in bad romance movies? Any moment now they'd bang into each other and realize that they were made for each other. Their hands brushed and she fought a groan at exactly how cliché it was.

She fought another groan as a blond head peeked in from the hall. "Hey love." Shaw said, and Woody turned, banging his head on the corner of her desk.

"You OK?" She asked and the cop simply nodded, rubbing the spot on his head as he placed the stack of files on her desk. "Hey." She acknowledge the other man who had just entered, and looked back and forth from man to man. Finally, a sense of etiquette overtook her and she introduced the two to each other. "Right, Shaw, this is Captain Woody Hoyt. Woody, this is-"

"Stabzy. Please. Jordan's the only one who gets away with calling me Shaw." The two men shook hands, and she fought back a grin at how different the two men were. Woody was tall dark and handsome. Shaw was short, with blond hair too much reddish stubble and was just barely as tall as Garret.

"You look familiar." Woody pointed out and Shaw shrugged.

"I get that a lot, guess I just have that kind of a face." Woody looked the man over once more before decided that was probably what it was. "I've heard quite a lot about you Captain." She and Woody were equally amazed. Woody by the fact that she had told Shaw about him, and she by the easy way that Shaw was reacting to Woody.

She had seen Shaw be incredibly tense around cops before, he told her time and again that he wasn't wanted for anything he knew of, but living the nomadic life he had, he had grown to distrust cops. He claimed that after seeing his best friend arrested for something the guy hadn't done, he had grown to think of cops as something that were all well and good when they were nowhere near him.

"Really?" Woody asked, wondering just how much she had divulged.

"Yeah. Jordan's told me enough about your cases that the two of you have enough material to write a TV show."

"Yeah, it did get pretty interesting." He admitted with a sheepish grin. The two men stood there awkwardly for another few seconds in silence until Woody made a move the door. "Anyway, I gotta get back, murders to solve, drug dealers to arrest, I'll see you around. Nice meeting you." He grabbed the file and started back out down the hall.

"Nice meeting you too." Shaw called after the retreating detective and sat down on her couch as they were left alone.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N-again thanks to Garretelliot for beta'ing and to all you people that have read and reviewed. To all of you who read and have this on your alerts list but have not reviewed-REVIEW!

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She sat there, Leaning back in the padded chair. "We've got him, case closed, only thing left is your testimony." She nodded. "Walcott will talk to you about that." She nodded again and he looked at her, leaning back in his own chair. "So how did you and-Stabzy-" He looked like he was trying not to laugh at the other man's preferred nickname, "Meet?"

She shrugged. "We ran into each other. We had both stopped by the same coffee place to sit and grab a cup of coffee and the only table left was the one I was sitting at so he sat, we started talking and one thing led to another next thing I knew he was asking me to dinner." That was the gist of it.

"He seems-interesting." She fought back a grin. That was certainly one way to describe him.

"He is." She watched him toy with a pencil, as they fought to make small talk that wouldn't step on either's toes.

"He looks like he's lived a varied life." The battle she'd been fighting with her grin had been lost.

"He has. Mississippi, Alaska, Pennsylvania, Malibu and now here." One black eyebrow quirked upwards.

"So what got you so interested in him?"

"The fact that he's got something quirky or witty to say for everything. He's a natural storyteller." She usually didn't say much about Shaw. Most of what everyone knew about Shaw they had learned from the man himself.

But talking about Shaw was something that kept the conversation off of her. Talking about Shaw kept the conversation off of what she and the man sitting across from her had been. Talking about Shaw gave Woody the clear sign that he should back off, talking about Shaw proved that she loved him.

Talking about Shaw sent a very clear message. That she was taken, that she had Shaw. That she no longer belonged to the man that leaned back easily in his leather chair. It told him plain as day that she didn't want to be involved with him ever again. She may not have ever stopped loving him, but she didn't want the trouble and heartache that came with him.

"Fascinating." Woody commented and she rolled her eyes. Where had the boy learned sarcasm? "So I'm not the only one you toy with then?" She glared at him. This was not what she came here for. She came here to tie up a few loose ends about the case, not a few loose ends with her personal life. Woody left her. She moved on. Or at least thought she had, made a good show of having moved on .

"Captain Hoyt-" She started, stressing the man's formal title.

"Quit playing games Jordan." He told her flat out, cutting her off.

"I'm not playing games anymore Woody. Shaw and I are a couple. And a happy one. I don't need you trying to butt in and interrupt that."

Amber eyes met blue and hung there for a long time. "Then why aren't you marrying him? Still can't commit?" She felt the anger flood through her before realizing he was right.

"We're happy, I don't need a ring on my finger to prove I'm in love." He nodded and broke her stare.

"If that's the case, I'll back off." He gave her his disarming, sheepish grin and she felt the ice for him melt somewhat. "But if we're going to have to work together, we should at least be on decent terms right?" That was something she could live with, being on speaking terms with him.

"Yeah." She agreed.

"You wanna grab lunch sometime then? Just talk about what we've been doing with our lives? Catch up, you know?" She thought about it. That was a lot more than speaking terms. But they had such a good friendship before, before they had even begun to even think of each other in anything resembling romance, they had been friends. And that was one of the things she had missed most about him, his friendship.

"Just lunch?" She asked and he nodded.

"Just lunch. I'll call you?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. See you around Captain." He grinned at the way that she mocked his title. Maybe they could go back to just friendship. She had Shaw, she didn't need him. She walked out of the door trying to banish the thoughts of her failed relationship from her mind.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N No, this hasn't been forgotten. fell by the wayside while I started on a collaboration and some smut (sorry, but as much as I've enjoyed writing this there is going to be no smut. As hot as JOC is I can't picture writing Woody smut.). We're in the home stretch now, about four more chapters left...enjoy! And thanks to garretelliot as always. Even though she IS the one to have distracted me. ;)

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"So." That was becoming a very common conversation starter for the two of them.

"So." He repeated. They both were focusing more on their food than the conversation. Her mind had been on Woody all afternoon, she didn't want to think about the man in front of her, it just made what she had to think about that much harder to think about. Just made her decision on whether or not to say yes that much harder.

Woody had said he would back off. She had made it clear that she loved Shaw and Woody had very obviously gotten the message. She just hoped that he would keep his word and not make another play for her. Garret had told her to follow her heart. And she loved Shaw. She didn't need Woody getting in the way.

"So that was the infamous Woody Hoyt." Shaw said, taking another bite, and she nodded.

"Yeah."

"Seems like a nice enough guy." She laughed.

"That Midwestern charm. Gets you every time." He grinned.

"Yeah. I see how it would.." She nodded and stared back down at her plate. "So what happened between you two?" She shrugged. This was not the question she wanted to answer. She had given Shaw the rough details of it. They had been close, flirted and stayed on the border of wanting more, but never crossed it. And she had mentioned that his getting shot had been what made him reevaluate his life.

"We-" she began. "We danced around our relationship, and he got sick of it. He got shot decided that he didn't want to waste his life with the dance we did, and left." It wasn't the first time she had told him, and if he was looking to get the entire story, she wasn't going to tell it. The only other person to know exactly what had happened was Garret, the one that she turned to for a shoulder to cry on. Nigel Bug and Lilly had all inferred it, but she hadn't told anyone but one that Woody had forcefully told her to get out of his life.

It felt wrong though, to not tell Shaw the whole story, but it still felt raw. It had been almost three years, but it still felt too painful to say everything that had happened. She loved him, she was seriously considering marrying him, debating on whether or not to call up Danny, drag Shaw on the first flight to Vegas and elope.

"You love him?" Shaw asked, and she met his pale green eyes before nodding.

"I did." She replied and he held her gaze.

"Do you still?" She didn't want to answer this, she wanted to avoid it. Not because she wanted to hurt Shaw, although that was part of it, but because she was torn.

"I-" She began and felt the intense, bright eyes boring into her. "-Don't know." She said truthfully. "I thought I got over him. I love you. But he walks back in and suddenly out of nowhere he's making me second guess everything in my life. I love you Shaw, I want to be with you but-" he cut her off.

"That's I need to know." He said and kissed her gently. He knew she loved him and that was enough for him. She loved him, Woody be damned.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N Awful sorry about the delay on this chap. It was written, but I got caught up in writing so much other stuff I forgot to post it! I've got a massive Garret angst thing in the works which may or may not be a G/J (I'm crossing that bridge when I come to it, I have just friends and freinds to something more both fighting in my head. Let's see how it works out) and I'm about a third of the way through writing that, and I've got what STARTED as a smutty slashy one shot and has evolved into a rather large multipart smutfest up on AdultFanfic that features Garret and everybody's OTHER favorite detective (not Woody). Not to mention about a pound of chem and history homework a night...

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She stared off into space, staring out the window, not really paying any attention to anything. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice when the door opened and Garret stepped in, sitting down next to her on the couch. "Still stuck?" he asked, startling her out of her reverie. She jumped slightly, and thought about it.

"Yeah." She said simply after a moment. There was a fierce battle going on between her head and her heart. Black hair and blue eyes against blond hair and green eyes. She wanted Shaw, she loved Shaw, she fell in love with Shaw after the first date. But she had no clue when she had started or stopped loving Woody.

"Completely torn?" She nodded. She didn't want to have to let Shaw down. She didn't want to risk heartache again with Woody. She was split.

"I just don't know." She confessed. She leaned back against him, searching for anything comforting. He gently kissed the top of her head, letting her know that he was the one that she could turn to, that he was there to lend a sympathetic ear and be her relationship sounding board: a shoulder to cry on without passing judgment.

She loved him and hated him at the same time, he was her best friend, but everyone that he had loved he seemed to able to get over once things went sour. He had gotten over his wife, Rene, everyone, he learned how to move on with his life. It was so much easier for him, he didn't have his heart and mind and body tearing him in different directions like she did. "That's the problem with love, it messes with all your plans." She smiled.

"Yeah. Just when I thought I got my life together everything gets screwed up." He grinned.

"Did you ever get over Woody?" He asked, suddenly serious. "Ever stop loving him?" She shook her head, trying to think about if she did. And she knew the answer.

"No." She admitted.

"Keep seeing him in your dreams?" She nodded.

"I don't know why. I'm happy with Shaw, I love him." She was happy with him, happier than she had ever been in her life.

"You never really get over that one. Especially when they leave you." He had a point. And she knew that he knew what he was talking about, he may act like he was over Maggie, moved on with his life, but she saw the way that he was around his ex wife. She had moved on, the same way he had, but there was still a part of her heart attached to Woody. "The thing you have to wonder isn't if you'll get over them, it's whether or not you can get over the what-if's."

She held his gaze for a long minute. It was all about the what ifs. If she was ever going to be able to move on. Would she let him walk out of her life again when she had the chance to make things right between them? Could she handle the what-ifs from letting him leave without even a goodbye. She leaned back against him, looking up at the compassion in the dark eyes.

He was her best friend for this very reason. They just got each other, they could say so much without speaking. And right now, that was what she needed most of all. "I love him, I really do, but I love Shaw too." he pulled her as close as he could to her without hurting her.

"What will you regret more? Do you think Shaw will be happy with only part of your heart, with you constantly regretting letting Woody slip away?" He made a good point. She had to decide.

"I don't know which one I'll regret more." She was torn.

"What do you think? What does your brain keep telling you." She thought for a minute.

"It keeps telling me to love Shaw, Woody's already lost me, he had his chance, if I go with him it'll only hurt me more." He nodded.

"And what does your heart tell you?" She thought.

"It tells me to love Shaw, but to love Woody too." He smiled down at her.

"Follow your heart, Jor. Even if your brain says its wrong, sometimes your own mind can take you down the wrong path. He kissed her forehead gently as he got up, walking out leaving her to decide.

Hear heart knew the answer. Being forced out of Woody's life once was hard enough. She couldn't let him go again, not with the chance for their relationship to work. "And Jordan?" She looked up to see him with his head back in her doorway. "Stabzy's a good guy. Let him down easy." She grinned, and kicked her feet up on the couch, trying to think of what she would say to each man.


End file.
